Videos

Took me a while to figure out how to upload the videos, but now I think I've got it! enjoy:)
The video of him eating peaches was just before he turned 6 months. The one with Grandma and Grandpa was just a couple weeks ago. He's definitely been laughing more and more...

Grandma Hazen

My Grandma Hazen, Ethan's Great Grandma Hazen has gone to be with the Lord this morning. My dad's birthday was yesterday and Christmas is just around the corner, so not exactly the time we would have hoped for. But there's never a good time to loose someone you love. I will say that I have a joy in my heart now knowing where she is... in her new heavenly body with Jesus!! And now she's laughing and singing praises and reunited with loved ones like her husband who passed away in '98.

So it's a day mixed with tears of saddness and joy. We thought we'd be seeing her the day after Christmas, but now it looks like we'll be going for a funeral. So we leave Dec. 26 for North Carolina. We ask for prayers for a safe trip and especially that Ethan would do well on our long trip. I had hoped he'd be able to meet his Great Grandma Hazen, but Lord willing, he'll meet her in Heaven.

new pics before my computer dies again!

HE SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT!!

That's right, it's a miracle! It only happened once, but I have hopes that this will happen again. Just about a week ago, his daddy Trampes came over and put him to bed. Much to my surprise, I went to bed and didn't hear a peep from Ethan until about 5am! I couldn't believe it. And of course, the following night was back to normal. But this past week, he's been getting longer stretches of sleep again. He may wake once or twice, but he's doing a lot more sleeping at night and that means I am too:)

And Ethan is loving to laugh at everything now. The other day it was the word "BLINK" and before that it was "PEACHES" or "ZIPPER". Anyway, he loves to laugh and all of us who get to hear it are loving it! I really want to figure out how to download a video because I have an amazing video of his laughter. So I'll find someone to help me and hopefully get it up soon. And I can't update pictures either because my personal computer is not turning on anymore. That's where all my pictures are and where I download all my new pics. So again, I'm going to need to find someone who knows a lot about computers to help me fix it. I have some great new shots of him and would LOVE to share them, but I can't right now. So I hope to do that soon.

Can't remember if I said this already, but he's sitting up by himself now. He's starting to look like such a "big boy". I know he's still a baby, but he's just growing and learning so much right now. It's quite amazing. And one of his new favorite things to do is fake cough... it's kind of a new way of "talking" to us. And he also loves biting his upper lip now that he has his 2 bottom teeth. He's always making this funny face when he bites his lip and it looks like his upper lip disappears. Again, I'll have to get some pictures on here soon I hope.

We'll be here in Valparaiso for Christmas, so that will be a fun change for me and great to spend Ethan's first Christmas here at home. Since I was a child, we've traveled to Minnesota or North Carolina every year for Christmas. This year my mom is helping out with the Christmas Eve service at Liberty Bible Church, so we'll be staying here through Christmas day. We're still planning on going to see Ethan's Great Grandma Hazen (my dad's mom) the day after Christmas. She's actually in a hospital right now and will be in a rehab center when we get up there, but we're looking forward to seeing her and lifting her spirits a bit. I know Ethan will help to put a smile on her face. So pray for a safe trip for us and especially that Ethan will do well on our long trip (about 11 hrs or so). And we also covet your prayers for my Grandma Hazen. She hasn't been in good health for years now and now my dad and his brothers have to figure out where she'll be going once she leaves the hospital. thanks all.

Nearing 6 months!

It really is hard to believe, but Ethan will be 6 months old a week from tomorrow! I keep thinking "has it really almost been a half of a year?" No wonder they say it goes by fast... it goes by so fast.

So Ethan has his first 2 teeth, he's been trying solids (beans, peas, squash, bananas, applesauce, and pears) so far, he's getting closer and closer to figuring out how to crawl, grabs everything and anything and it all ends up in his mouth, and continues to observe and take in his environment everyday. I've been telling my mom I think he's had trouble sleeping from the beginning because he's going to be so smart. He just can't figure out how to turn off his brain. Haha - we'll see. I know I'll be proud of him no matter what. But he does seem especially in tune with what's going on around him. Very strong and intelligent and already knows what he wants.

And today has been the battle of biting mommy while nursing... :O yikes, ouch. He did it a few times today and after I said no, he ended up crying. But he's got to learn that's not o.k. or I'm going to have to switch to a bottle. So good luck to me, right? My goal was to at least nurse him through 6 months and we're almost there. So if this continues to be a problem, at least we made it this far.

Had some snow here the other day. I took Ethan out for a walk afterwards and he seemed to get a kick out of me stomping on the snow and then stomping the snow off my shoes. He laughed and laughed. Ah, so cute.

We're looking forward to Ethan's first Christmas too. I'm sure he'll get a lot of fun gifts and he won't remember a thing, but I'll be sure to take enough pictures for him to look back on:) We'll actually be in Indiana for Christmas Eve and Christmas day this year, so that will be a fun change. (though I wish Jessie and Dave and Jon and Christy could be here too). And we'll be off to visit Grandma Hazen in North Carolina the day after Christmas. So it'll be interesting to see how Ethan does on a long trip. Takes about 10 or more hours to get there (probably more with Ethan) so it's going to be a long trip there and back. But we'll get through it and if he does as well as he has on our trips to Illinois, we'll be just fine.

And no surprise (to me at least), still waiting for him to sleep through the night. Naps have been better for the most part, but I look forward to the day that I can say HE ACTUALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! ah, one day. One glorious day, that will happen. Until then, naps are still my best friend. But it's all worth it. Ethan is so amazing. He's one in a million and I'm so blessed to be his mother.

Trick-or-Treat?!

We brought Ethan out for his first Halloween and I'm sure he'll have no recollection of it, but it was fun! And of course everyone wanted to know who was going to be eating all that candy!?? haha - I said I guess he'd have to share it with me:)

And just after Halloween, I took him with me to a wedding in Wheeling, IL. My friend Lauren just got married and I was happy to be there to celebrate the day. Ethan did so well in the car. He was pooped after the reception, so he basically slept all the way home. And he was SO HAPPY to be home in his own bed when we got home.

Can't believe it's already November! And we went for a walk today... such beautiful weather for this time of year. Ethan had a great time checking out all the leaves falling from the trees and listening to them crunch under our feet.

I know I already put pictures of him in the pumpkin outfit, but I'll add a couple from Halloween. And my grandparents were in town for a few days, so it was fun for Ethan to meet his great grandparents! (my mom's parents)

That's it for now... hope to keep the updates coming.

What's New?!!

Well, now that my little guy is gettin older, he's learning more and more everyday. He loves grabbing everything and anything you put in front of him. But typical of a child, he prefers to grab things he shouldn't. :) He does very well on his tummy now and has figured out how to roll from his back to his tummy and back again if he wants to. But he seems to prefer playing on his tummy now.

He's figuring out how to scoot around, so I'm pretty sure he'll be crawling sometime in the next month. He's just so strong! I can hardly believe how well he keeps his head up and can push his upper body up for so long. He's also been pushing his rear in the air and sometimes gets on his knees, so it's really only a matter of time before he figures out how to get his front and behind up at the same time. It's very exciting, yet a little scary to think of him getting around on his own. My parents have been watching him get stronger and stronger and we're realizing there will be a lot to "baby-proof" once he's getting around. I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Would love to say that we've had a break-through with sleeping, but it's pretty much the same old, same old. This past month has been tough with all the night waking. He slept better during the night when he was 2 and 3 months old. So I'm not really sure what to do about that. And he wakes after 30-45 minutes during his naps (though there have been a few times he hasn't - there's hope!) and he usually goes back to sleep once I've given him back his pacifier or pat him on his back.

He's 5 months old, so I have to keep in mind that this should get better with time. I'm just hoping the night sleep will improve sometime in the next month or two. I'm so bad at letting him "cry it out" and I really don't want to have to do that if he's still waking as much as he is now. But I also know it's going to have to come to that if things don't improve. I just can't keep getting up 4 or more times during the night. It's wearing me out. And Ethan really needs to learn to sleep better too. So all in due time, I'm hoping.

Other than what he's been learning and how he's growing, he's just an overall happy baby. I tell him everyday that he's the cutest thing in the world. I think he already knows it. He loves to giggle and it just melts my heart when he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and gives me one of his precious smiles. I love my little Ethan Ryder. He's a good boy and I'm loving every minute I get to spend with him.

5 months old!

I can hardly believe Ethan's 5 months already. Yet it seems like I can't remember life without him too. I'm pretty sure my computer is going to shut off soon, so I want to add some new pics before that happens. I'll try to update more later.

First Tooth!

Ethan's on my lap right now, so I'll make this quick:)
I noticed last week, Sunday night, that Ethan was beginning to cut a tooth! Oh my goodness! I could hardly believe it:) And that would definitely explain the recent troubles with sleeping especially during the night. But he seems to be over the worst part now and it'll be fun to see the other teeth come in.

And of course he is reaching out for everything now, so I have to be more careful with what I put in front of him. We've also been doing cereal for this past week or so and he's getting much better at eating it. So lots happening - he's really such a joy. More and more fun everyday. I'll get back on soon to add some new pics.

Such a cutie!

I just thought I'd let you all know what a cutie my little guy is. He makes me giggle just about everyday now. I love watching him try to grab things and try to stick just about everything in his mouth now. And he's been grabbing his feet lately too - it's so fun.

I tried feeding him cereal the other day and he seems to like it. Definitely still getting used to swallowing it, but he'll get the hang of it eventually. And it seems we went from struggling with naps to struggling with sleeping during the night. I may have said something about it in my last blog, but for about a month now, I've been going to bed just PRAYING that Ethan would sleep better. I'm not sure what caused it, but he tends to wake at least a few times during the night. So I guess it's just another hurdle to get over.

He had to get his shots yesterday and definitely wasn't thrilled about it, but he's been doing very well today. In fact, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but he took 3 GREAT naps today and didn't even wake in the middle like he usually does. I'm thinking it must have something to do with the shots and giving him tylenol yesterday?? I don't know? But if he sleeps better tonight, I'll be THRILLED!!! And if he doesn't, I'm already used to getting hardly any sleep, so I'll be fine.

Nothing else to report really. Though we did make it to homecoming last weekend and he got to meet my friend (Laura's) baby, Luke. And he saw my other friend (Katie's) baby, Lydia, for the second time. It was so fun to see the three of them together. Lydia was born May 12, Ethan May 29, and Luke June 4. So it was a fun visit! I'll have to get some pictures on once I can get my computer to work again.

Growing Boy

These are pictures from Ethan's 3 month photo shoot at JC Penny - isn't he such a cutie?! I couldn't figure out how to turn the picture the right way, so sorry you have to turn your head to look at it;)

I am absolutely amazed at how Ethan has grown and changed in these past few months! He'll be 4 months one week from today! I had made a comment on facebook that this has seemed like the longest 4 months and yet the quickest in some ways. But with everything we've been through together, it has seemed like a long time. I think that's mostly to do with the fact that my days are so long. Especially when Ethan doesn't sleep well at night, sometimes I feel like I'm living one never-ending day! But we get through it and I've been learning to really enjoy all of the good things that are happening now.

Ethan's been laughing a lot more, reaching out for things, and absolutely LOVES to suck on his hands or a pacifier or a blanket or whatever he can. The way he's been acting lately, I have a feeling he's going through the teething phase already. I can only hope it takes a while for those teeth to pop out, but he's seemed more bothered by it lately and I think it occassionally wakes him from sleep.

After we got home from Illinois (the last time I wrote) things got REALLY tough with night waking. He was waking 4 or more times a night and sometimes wasn't going back to sleep. I'd hear him up at 2am or so and don't think he went back to sleep until close to 4am. But after about 2 weeks of pretty bad sleeping during the night, he seems to be getting a little better now. I think he had exhausted himself so much that his body finally just gave up and said YOU NEED TO SLEEP!!! And of course last night he was up again around 1am, 2:30am, 4am and 5:30am. He seems to be going back to sleep pretty well, but I don't know why he keeps waking like that. He's so hard to figure out sometimes.

Other than the never-ending sleeping "problems", he is such a good boy. He hardly cries or fusses and even after he's been crying, it's usually pretty easy to get him to smile again. He loves to explore the world around him - loves going outside, checking out new places and especially loves to try to talk. I wish I could make a recording of his babbling. Sometimes he even does it when he's upset and trying to fall asleep and it just makes me smile. I feel bad that he's upset, but his little noises are just so cute:)

So things have been going well. I feel like I've gotten over a "hump" with him. I know we have many other things to go through, but I'm beginning to realize that he's just not the typical baby. And I have to be o.k. with the fact that he doesn't sleep through the night yet and will still take short naps now and then. I was driving myself crazy thinking he was SUPPOSED to be a certain way, according to the books, but now I see that no matter when he hits certain milestones, what matters most is that he's a healthy growing boy.

Something that helped turn things around for me was by attending my churches Missionary Care meeting. It's just a bunch of ladies who get together to listen to a missionary share what's going on where they're serving and then pray for them and other missionaries serving around the world. It was just so good for me to meet with other women (of all ages) and be able to pray with them and talk with them and feel like someone else can understand where I'm coming from and what I'm going through. I think God just put the right people in my life at just the right time. So I praise him for continuing to take care of my every need and giving me peace and joy and contentment when I needed it most. And I thank him everyday for my perfect little boy who brings smiles to my face everyday!

Back Home

I guess, in a way, back home has 2 meanings...
Ethan and I were up in Wheeling/Deerfield Sunday and Monday and in a way I felt like I was back home again. And now I'm back in Valpo, so I'm "back home" once again.

It was so fun to see my friends and stay with Katie and Marc and Lydia. Ethan hadn't really met any babies his age, so I'm sure he enjoyed it! We met up with my friends at Harvest Sunday morning and had lunch with them. And then I brought him back to Katie's in Wheeling where we spent the night and the following morning.

Ethan already has trouble with naps, so I didn't expect them to go well while away from home. And he definitely had trouble sleeping, but did just as well as I would have hoped. He took good naps in the car ride there and back, so I thank God for getting us there and back safely and relatively quietly (for my sake).

And Monday afternoon we visited Rachel and Max and Jonah before my dentist appointment. It was so fun to see them too! And I can't believe I babysat for Max when he was Ethan's age! So crazy how time flies by. Anyway, it was great to visit friends and be back in the Chicago area again. I miss everyone so much! But I'll be bringing Ethan back up there for homecoming in a month, so I can't wait!

3 Months Old Already!

I just can't believe my little guy is already 3 months old! (and yet it seems like the longest 3 months of my life sometimes!)
We've been through a lot so far, but I'm feeling like things are starting to come together much better. Naps are still (and will probably always be) an issue. But the important thing is that we may have our good days and our bad days, but overall, Ethan is a happy boy.

He turned 3 months on August 29th and I feel like we've kind of turned a corner since then. I've heard that babies usually take a turn for the better once 3 months rolls around and I have to say I'd agree. He still has some gassy issues, but nothing aweful like before (unless I have Oberweis icecream!:0) oops...
And even if he has a hard time taking a nap, we seem to make up for it later on. I felt like it was some kind of miracle on the day he turned 3 months - his naps were great and he even went from 10:30pm to 6am without eating! He woke at 2:30am, but I got him to go back to sleep and he didn't wake until 6am! Of course, that's the last time that happened, but I was still very excited about it.

And after this "miracle" day, I went and messed up his schedule alltogether and now we're kind of getting back on track. But the reason for messing up his schedule was worth it to me. My sister Jessie and her husband David flew in from Seattle on Thursday night and we had such a great week together. Saturday we went for a hike/walk at the Dunes and then we went for a boat ride out on Lake Michigan! Ethan did such a good job and didn't fuss at all until the very end of the boat ride. (He was wiped out at the end of that day - no surprise). Then Sunday I brought him to church where he barely got a nap and that evening Bethany and I sang in Leslie Rietveld's wedding, so I had to drag Ethan to the wedding and the dinner reception. He was SO TIRED by the end of that day I thought I'd damaged my child.

And of course sleeping at night still wasn't great, but I think that's because his naps were so terrible. You'd think if he got little sleep during the day, he'd sleep better at night, but that's not really how it works unfortunately. But then yesterday he took AMAZING naps - didn't even wake in the middle like he usually does. But then he was awake from 2:30-4am and it was hard to get him back to sleep. And of course today he was right back to his usual 30-45 minute waking during naps. So anyway, I'm not sure we'll ever have an entire week of good naps, but I'm just thankful to get some good days in here and there.

It was so fun to have Jessie and David in town. They left early this afternoon and I'm sad they're gone:( But they'll be back early next year and I hope to bring Ethan out to visit them in Seattle sometime in the next year. They both loved spending time with Ethan and he really loved getting to know them too:)

So back to the same old, same old. But it was fun while it lasted - and I'm hoping to bring Ethan to get some pictures taken soon. Gotta get those 3 month pics before too long.

And thanks for your prayers - God has been so good to help me have patience and really enjoy all of the precious moments I have with my son. He makes me smile everyday. I can't believe how much he's growing and cooing and trying to communicate already. He's such a joy and I wouldn't trade him for the WORLD!

Prayer

So this blog is mostly about my need for prayer. I need to be praying more myself and I'd like to ask for anyone who reads this to just keep Ethan and I in your prayers. I've been feeling like giving up lately with trying to get Ethan to take good naps. Just when I feel like he's getting it, the next day seems like a nightmare. I was talking with a good friend of mine who has 2 kids of her own and she had a lot of good advice for me. I'm willing to try just about anything right now, so we'll see if trying to keep him on a schedule will help.

Sometimes I feel like God gave me this "difficult" child to teach me to be dependent on Him. There was a time after Trampes and I called off the wedding that I asked God to keep me as desperate for him as I was at that time. And in some ways, I think he's only answering my prayer.

And today after reading my friend's blog, I was reminded again that I need to keep my life in perspective. I feel like it's the end of the world when I have to listen to my child cry so much during the day. And I get SO FRUSTRATED when I know he's still tired, but refuses to fall back asleep. And then I start to doubt myself - am I doing this wrong? Am I torturing my child? Will we ever get past this stage? And I know we will, but sometimes this feels like it's lasting forever...
And that's when I have to tell myself that I have parents who love me (and my son) enough to allow us to live with them and are giving us a roof over our heads and food to eat and a safe and loving home for both Ethan and I. And my son is healthy and growing and such a beautiful child. I don't even deserve him. But God gave him to me and I have to remember what a GIFT he is. And my friends may not be near me, but they love me and pray for me and we can talk as often as we like. And my sister is close by and she's having a baby in January and I can't wait to share that JOY with her when her little one arrives!

There's so much in my life that I should be thankful for. I should wake up everyday (or every time I wake in the night;) thanking God for all that he's given me. There are so many people who will never know God's love like I've been blessed to know Him. And when life gets a little less complicated (not that it ever really does), but once I can get out more, I want to allow God to use me however he sees fit. I want my life to exemplify Christ, that others would come to know him through the love that I'm able to show because of the love that God has lavished on me.

So that's what I wanted to share today. To all of you who are friends and family, know that you are loved. And take some time to thank God for all that he's GIVEN you - try not to dwell on things that can't be changed. Remember that there is hope in every situation and as long as you keep God in the center, your life will have purpose. Thanks for listening to me babble on - and thank you for your prayers:)

New pictures

Not much new, but sometimes that's a good thing, right? I've been enjoying our days together so much more now that Ethan is doing so much better with naps. Today was a little more difficult - he had some trouble with his first two naps, but I'm hoping this next one will last a little longer (for his sake anyway). But other than this morning, he's been pretty consistent about taking at least 2 good naps a day. He's been waking up happier and I've been smiling so much more! Which then causes him to smile so much more and EVERYONE's happier! :)

He's getting better at "babbling" - I can tell he's trying to communicate with us already. He says "doo" and "goo" mostly, but there have been a lot of new sounds even in this past few days. And something I've been LOVING is when he giggles... he's so close to laughing and I love it. And in the past week he's been sucking on his fists more and drooling more than usual. I told my mom I think he may be teething early! ;( But only time will tell... So for the most part, things have only been improving and I'm loving watching this little guy grow up and learn new things everyday. He's so much fun! (most of the time:) haha.

Breakthrough?

This may have been our breakthrough day!??
Ethan has been crying so much in the last few days, I honestly didn't know how much more I could take. And it was always before he fell asleep and after about 30-45 minutes of sleep. That should have been the "middle of the nap" but everytime, it ended up being the END of the nap. He was crying longer than he was sleeping.

Anyway, then today, he slept for 1hr 20mins without any crying until he woke up! I could hardly believe it. Then his second nap was 1hr 45 mins and very little crying in the middle. His last couple of naps were about 30-40 mins, but I was just so thrilled he had done so well at the beginning of the day!

So I'm feeling really good today. Just so relieved to know that he CAN take longer naps without waking - and if he does wake, he's able to put himself back to sleep. Praise God!! I've been asking him for patience and strength to keep consistency. He is so good to give us a day like today.

He's 11 weeks old tomorrow! I hear sometime around 12 weeks, there's a change for the better. So if he's getting naps down, I can only hope it improves as he grows and gets older. I guess the next milestone I'm looking forward to is sleeping longer through the night. I've been feeding him around 10:30pm and he usually wakes around 3:30-4am to eat again. So it's a good stretch. I just know one of these days he'll actually wait till 6am or 7am to eat next. Until then... I'll just keep enjoying the sleep I'm able to get now. It's better than waking every 2-3 hours, that's for sure!

ROAD TRIP!

We just got back from Ethan's first road trip to MICHIGAN! He did so good in the car and even managed to fit in a few naps:) Why were we in Michigan, you ask? My brother Jon and his wife Christy were having a reception there to celebrate their marriage. They married in Washington and since not everyone could make it out there, Christy's parents wanted to throw a party back home. I even got to see my friend CB who I hadn't seen in about 5 years! She had her little girl, Thalia, along. It was so good to finally meet her in person and have Ethan meet his first little friend. We had a lot of fun and Ethan was pooped out at the end of the day. But everyone loved meeting him, especially his Uncle Jon and Aunt Christy. They even bought him a BEARS outfit to wear, so I dressed him in it for our trip;)

I can't say naps have been much improved since I last wrote, but he can usually get in at least one good nap during the day. I think he was so wiped out when we got home on Sunday morning, he was just happy to sleep in a familiar place. So he ended up sleeping for 1hr 40 minutes! That was exciting for me. I took a nap too! :)

He's been sleeping now for about 30 minutes and I hear him shuffling a bit, so he'll either go back to sleep (miracle I'm praying for) or he'll be crying in a few minutes. Before I go, I want to include some pictures from our trip.

And one more thing - Ethan had a Dr. appt Friday and had to get his first shots! ow! I didn't like seeing him cry, but he got through it just fine. We had a kind of rough afternoon/evening, but I gave him infant tylenol and that seemed to help. And he now weighs 12lbs 12oz and is 23 1/2 inches long! He just keeps growing so fast! I can hardly believe he's 2 months already. (and a part of me also says, "has it really only been 2 months?" haha.

And he's crying... shoulda known:)

Special Day

Today is a special day because it's my nephew Jacob's 5th birthday. Not only that, but it also marks Ethan's 2 months "birthday":) So we're celebrating them both today - the big party is for Jacob, of course. Pool party! So fun!

And I continue to obsess about taking pictures of Ethan. I feel like I have to capture every moment and every new look or guesture he makes. So I'll include a couple of favorites from recent days.

Ethan seems to only improve his napping "skills" and we're both enjoying awake times so much more now. He smiles so much - I just can't get enough of his adorable little face:) His Grandma Hazen (Carol, my mom) is also loving watching him grow and learn. She's feeling quite spoiled to have so much quality time with her grandson. I think the only tough part for her is having to listen to him cry along with me. She wants to help too. We women have such a soft spot in our hearts for crying babies... what can I do!? How can I help!? But she's been very good about allowing me to be the mother and figure all this stuff out on my own.

So I look forward to another great day with Ethan - watching him coo and smile and enjoy life the way a little baby should. And I'm sure it helps that his mommy is much more smiley than before;)

Only gets better

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "It only gets better" and it's so true. Ethan and I have been working on napping and he's getting better everyday. We're still working on taking longer naps, but he'll get there. Even if a couple of his naps get caught a little short, he tends to get a good 2 hour or more nap once a day. Though today his longest was 1 and 1/2 hours. So I'm hoping he gets some good sleep tonight, but I'm not counting on it:)

And I've been trying to cut out dairy from my diet which seems to be helping his stomach. His awake times have been more pleasant and I'm getting a lot more smiles, so that makes me happier too. I know there's always more changes to come and just when you think you have a schedule, it changes. But for now, I'm sane and my child is happy. That's all I can ask.

A Growing Boy

I forgot to mention that I brought Ethan in to see the doctor on Friday. I just wanted to be sure he was as healthy as he seems to be and that the gas issues weren't because of something I wasn't aware of. Well, turns out he's just as healthy as can be and he's 11lbs 5oz and 22 1/2 inches long! So he's gained 3lbs 5oz and grown 2 1/2 inches already! It's amazing how quickly they grow.

And I have to report that he was so exhausted this morning and didn't take a good morning nap. But I put him down not long after his last feeding and he's been sleeping now for 2 hrs and 20 minutes!! It's a record! Yay Ethan! He should be up just in time for his next feeding and we can have some fun awake time now. I'm so happy and so proud of my little boy. I really can't believe how quickly he's learned to sleep on his own. Thank you God!

There's Hope

I was getting so worried that I was doing this the wrong way or maybe trying to teach him to sleep on his own too early. But much to my amazement, within just a couple of days he's been figuring out how to fall asleep ALL BY HIMSELF! I'm so proud of my little guy. Now it's not to say that we've got it all figured out (come on, when do you ever?) He's still having gassy issues and I feel so terrible when there's nothing I can do for him. I try burping him in different positions, rub his tummy, rub his back, giving him baby massages, etc. But sometimes he just needs to cry it out and eventually we get through it.

What I'm trying now is to keep us on some kind of schedule so that he and I both know what to expect during the day. So I'm feeding him every 3 hours (give or take 10 or 15 minutes) and we're trying to teach him to sleep in his crib for naps, usually about an hour or so after he's been fed.

The kink in this new plan is that he's been waking up from his naps after just 30-40 minutes a lot of the time because of his gassy pains. (I've been thinking he may have colic) I'm pretty sure he would probably be able to sleep longer, but because he's hurting, he wakes up unhappy. And then when it comes time for his next feeding, I feel like he doesn't get as much awake time afterwards because he's already been up for almost 2 hours. I know this doesn't all happen like clockwork and I do have to learn to be flexible. It's just hard not to think I'm doing something wrong when I read all these books saying do this, do that, don't do that. I know it's all up to me and the temperment of my own child, but I also want to be sure I don't get him into any bad habits. And rocking him to sleep or letting him sleep on me was starting up some habits that I'm now trying to break him of. And that's why I'm so amazed that he's already doing SO MUCH better after trying this for just a couple of days.

I was very encouraged this morning... we both got a good night of sleep and he took a 2 hour nap this morning! I couldn't believe it! But I knew he needed it. He ate last night at 7pm, then again at 12am, and again around 3am. And then he woke up this morning to eat at 7am. I felt like we both got good sleep because he was going right back to sleep after his feedings. And now he's waking from his nap, so I have to run!

Here Goes Nothing!

So Ethan was especially difficult yesterday all day and night. I decided for my own sanity it's time to start "training" him to sleep without my help. So last night I let him cry it out a few times, but the problem was that he would stop crying, but wasn't falling asleep... hmm, what to do? So when it had been a few hours after his last feeding, I picked him up and fed him. But then during the feeding, he was so tired, he wouldn't eat very well and it was harder to burp him. It's just such a terrible cycle.

And today I've been trying to let him cry it out during nap time because I can't spend my whole day rocking him to sleep and praying he'll stay asleep when I put him in his crib. He had finally fallen asleep this morning at 11am, but woke up about 30 minutes later. So I went in to comfort him and try to get him to sleep again, but instead I'm listening to him cry AGAIN. I think this little guy is more stubborn than I'm prepared to handle. It's SO HARD to listen to it and be strong enough to let him cry, but I know for sure he's only crying because he's tired. And I really think it's time we both get on some kind of schedule. I need more hands free time and he just needs more regular sleep. Ahhhh! This has really been a nightmare of a week, but we've gotten through it so far and I can only pray this gets easier. (at least the gas drops seem to be working - now we just need to get him to sleep and stay asleep and we'll all be happy campers)

This too shall pass

I keep reminding myself of that verse... "This too shall pass"
I know the bad gas and not wanting to nap are just a phase we're going through, it's just been a rough few days. But I'm happy to report that today has been a vast improvement from yesterday. I was about to pull my hair out and cried a few times yesterday when I couldn't get him to sleep (even though his eyes looked SO TIRED) It was so stressful for me because I knew he needed to sleep and I knew he was cranky because he hadn't gotten enough sleep, but there was nothing I could do to help him go to sleep. Yesterday was kind of a waiting game. The only problem was I was so tired, I was NOT in the mood for waiting;)

But we got through it and he slept better during the night. And today has felt like such a relief as far as naps are concerned. He's been getting back on the schedule he was on before. He eats, is up for a bit (with pleasant looks and smiles and coo's) and falls asleep after being up for about an hour to an hour and a half. So YAY for whatever has been helping to calm him today. And in turn, has helped to calm me as well. I feel much better today. Still can't wait for the gas to stop bothering him, especially during the night. I go in a few times(or more) during the night to rub his tummy when I know he could have kept sleeping if he wasn't experiencing pain. I know we'll get through it.
My friend Rachel Hyman was just telling me today (in an e-mail) that she remembers going through it too. And it's so good to be reminded that others have been there and better days are around the corner. (thanks Rachel:)

And I just keep asking God to help keep me calm and hopeful for what's to come. And I also make sure to enjoy those moments when he IS enjoying life... the smiles, the active arms and legs, the eyes that love to explore. He's such a blessing. I need to thank God for him EVERYDAY!!

Got gas?

(that's a picture of him in an outfit his uncle Jon wore when he was a baby:)

Ethan's been struggling a bit with gas the past few weeks. But I finally got some gas drops to see if that might help and they have! He seems to be much more pleasant after feeding and it's not waking him up so much as it was before. Yay for gas drops! life saver;)

Other than that, I've been sensing he's NOT into naps during the day. It takes a lot of coaxing and calming to get him to even close those eyes (when I can see by his yawns and face that he's actually tired) The only good thing about that is he should be getting much closer to beginning to sleep through the night. I've been reading a book about sleep habits and promoting healthy sleeping. It keeps saying that 6 weeks is supposedly the magic number. He'll be exactly 6 weeks on Thursday, so we'll see...

I would absolutely LOVE to be able to sleep for longer than 2 or 3 hours at a time. That would be a very welcome change for me;)

And of course, he's getting hungry as I write, so I best be going. I'll keep the updates coming - fun to see him change and grow! I just love him to pieces!

The Fourth of July!

So today is Ethan's first 4th of July and he's happily sleeping upstairs as I finish up some e-mails... can't believe he can sleep through all this noise, but I do have a couple fans on to "mask" the BANGS surrounding our house.
And of course, as I'm writing this, I hear him stirring. But he's been asleep now for about an hour, so I'm proud of him. He's actually probably getting hungry.

I just can't wait for him to start going more than 3 hours during the night without eating so we can both get some more rest.

O.k., he's not so happy now, so I need to go!
Just wanted to say how amazed I am that he actually slept through all that noise;)
What a good boy! (next year we'll go see the fireworks - he should be a little more "ready" for it then)

Time Flies!

I've been trying to get on here since Sunday to report that Ethan is already ONE MONTH old!! I just can hardly believe how quickly time is passing. You hear people say all the time, "Just wait, it goes fast". But now I'm beginning to understand. Usually a day goes by and I think, "what did we do today?" But when you're feeding every 2-3 hours and burping, changing, and getting him back to sleep, it's amazing how fast the day seems to disappear!

I'm still loving ALMOST:) every minute we have together. I have to admit there are times when I'm just so tired, I'd rather collapse back in bed than get up to feed him. But then I see his beautiful little face and the way he sometimes smiles up at me and I melt once again. And then I forget that I'm up at 2am and wish I could be sleeping again.

He's going to be 6 weeks in just a week and a half and I hear the sleeping schedule gets much better from that point on. So I'll look forward to reporting getting a full night's sleep finally! Wow - can hardly remember what that's like.

His Aunt Jessie was visiting from Seattle for the weekend. She had a wedding to go to, so it worked out well that she could spend the rest of her time here with the family and meet Ethan finally! She just LOVES him already - didn't want to say goodbye. But the good thing is she'll be back at the end of August with her husband David, so we're all looking forward to that. And Ethan will seem so much different in just a couple of months.

And lastly, my good friend Rachel went into labor a couple of days ago. She's in Nicaragua, so I'm looking forward to hearing how it went and whether it was a boy or girl!! So exciting! Babies everywhere!!

Oh, Baby

So Ethan has had some major gas issues the last couple of days... I'm seriously trying to think about what I'm eating, but it just seems impossible sometimes. I feel so terrible when he's hurting and just want it to go away. But other than that, everything is still going so well. I was just telling my mom yesterday that I have to pinch myself sometimes because it just doesn't seem real still. I think it's still hard for me to accept that I'm a mother, but not married. You know how you always have this dream for yourself or imagine how your life will turn out. Well, I never would have imagined it this way. That doesn't make being a mother now any less enjoyable. It's just still hard for me to grasp since the current pictures doesn't quite match up with the one I had envisioned.

I feel now as though my life has a purpose. I know God always had a purpose for me and I'd like to think that I was living that way before. But now I know exactly why I'm here. My life is to serve this little guy and care for him and his needs. I finally feel as though I'm living. It's hard to explain. But it's amazing and I love living now, more than ever.

Busy day

So yesterday was a busy day for mommy and Ethan...
I had a couple of errands to run and he came along for the ride. When we got back, he met Alissa for the first time - she wasn't ready to hold him, but enjoyed seeing him in person finally. We ended up going to the pool in the afternoon and he took a nap in my arms while we were there. And we went for a little walk, but he wasn't too thrilled about that, so it was short. He had some fussy time with some good wear you out crying, so he took a little nap after that. But then we went to a picnic in Chesterton, so another car ride and more fresh air (with a few raindrops included). Followed by a good 2 hour nap;)
After all his napping during the day, I wondered how he'd do last night. Well, much to my surprise (and delight) he slept very well all night and fed at 10pm, 1am, 4am, and again at 7am - with good sleep in between for mommy and Ethan.

I'm feeling good today and ready to have another fun-filled day with my little boy. He's the love of my life and the most fun I've ever had!