Prayer

So this blog is mostly about my need for prayer. I need to be praying more myself and I'd like to ask for anyone who reads this to just keep Ethan and I in your prayers. I've been feeling like giving up lately with trying to get Ethan to take good naps. Just when I feel like he's getting it, the next day seems like a nightmare. I was talking with a good friend of mine who has 2 kids of her own and she had a lot of good advice for me. I'm willing to try just about anything right now, so we'll see if trying to keep him on a schedule will help.

Sometimes I feel like God gave me this "difficult" child to teach me to be dependent on Him. There was a time after Trampes and I called off the wedding that I asked God to keep me as desperate for him as I was at that time. And in some ways, I think he's only answering my prayer.

And today after reading my friend's blog, I was reminded again that I need to keep my life in perspective. I feel like it's the end of the world when I have to listen to my child cry so much during the day. And I get SO FRUSTRATED when I know he's still tired, but refuses to fall back asleep. And then I start to doubt myself - am I doing this wrong? Am I torturing my child? Will we ever get past this stage? And I know we will, but sometimes this feels like it's lasting forever...
And that's when I have to tell myself that I have parents who love me (and my son) enough to allow us to live with them and are giving us a roof over our heads and food to eat and a safe and loving home for both Ethan and I. And my son is healthy and growing and such a beautiful child. I don't even deserve him. But God gave him to me and I have to remember what a GIFT he is. And my friends may not be near me, but they love me and pray for me and we can talk as often as we like. And my sister is close by and she's having a baby in January and I can't wait to share that JOY with her when her little one arrives!

There's so much in my life that I should be thankful for. I should wake up everyday (or every time I wake in the night;) thanking God for all that he's given me. There are so many people who will never know God's love like I've been blessed to know Him. And when life gets a little less complicated (not that it ever really does), but once I can get out more, I want to allow God to use me however he sees fit. I want my life to exemplify Christ, that others would come to know him through the love that I'm able to show because of the love that God has lavished on me.

So that's what I wanted to share today. To all of you who are friends and family, know that you are loved. And take some time to thank God for all that he's GIVEN you - try not to dwell on things that can't be changed. Remember that there is hope in every situation and as long as you keep God in the center, your life will have purpose. Thanks for listening to me babble on - and thank you for your prayers:)

New pictures

Not much new, but sometimes that's a good thing, right? I've been enjoying our days together so much more now that Ethan is doing so much better with naps. Today was a little more difficult - he had some trouble with his first two naps, but I'm hoping this next one will last a little longer (for his sake anyway). But other than this morning, he's been pretty consistent about taking at least 2 good naps a day. He's been waking up happier and I've been smiling so much more! Which then causes him to smile so much more and EVERYONE's happier! :)

He's getting better at "babbling" - I can tell he's trying to communicate with us already. He says "doo" and "goo" mostly, but there have been a lot of new sounds even in this past few days. And something I've been LOVING is when he giggles... he's so close to laughing and I love it. And in the past week he's been sucking on his fists more and drooling more than usual. I told my mom I think he may be teething early! ;( But only time will tell... So for the most part, things have only been improving and I'm loving watching this little guy grow up and learn new things everyday. He's so much fun! (most of the time:) haha.

Breakthrough?

This may have been our breakthrough day!??
Ethan has been crying so much in the last few days, I honestly didn't know how much more I could take. And it was always before he fell asleep and after about 30-45 minutes of sleep. That should have been the "middle of the nap" but everytime, it ended up being the END of the nap. He was crying longer than he was sleeping.

Anyway, then today, he slept for 1hr 20mins without any crying until he woke up! I could hardly believe it. Then his second nap was 1hr 45 mins and very little crying in the middle. His last couple of naps were about 30-40 mins, but I was just so thrilled he had done so well at the beginning of the day!

So I'm feeling really good today. Just so relieved to know that he CAN take longer naps without waking - and if he does wake, he's able to put himself back to sleep. Praise God!! I've been asking him for patience and strength to keep consistency. He is so good to give us a day like today.

He's 11 weeks old tomorrow! I hear sometime around 12 weeks, there's a change for the better. So if he's getting naps down, I can only hope it improves as he grows and gets older. I guess the next milestone I'm looking forward to is sleeping longer through the night. I've been feeding him around 10:30pm and he usually wakes around 3:30-4am to eat again. So it's a good stretch. I just know one of these days he'll actually wait till 6am or 7am to eat next. Until then... I'll just keep enjoying the sleep I'm able to get now. It's better than waking every 2-3 hours, that's for sure!

ROAD TRIP!

We just got back from Ethan's first road trip to MICHIGAN! He did so good in the car and even managed to fit in a few naps:) Why were we in Michigan, you ask? My brother Jon and his wife Christy were having a reception there to celebrate their marriage. They married in Washington and since not everyone could make it out there, Christy's parents wanted to throw a party back home. I even got to see my friend CB who I hadn't seen in about 5 years! She had her little girl, Thalia, along. It was so good to finally meet her in person and have Ethan meet his first little friend. We had a lot of fun and Ethan was pooped out at the end of the day. But everyone loved meeting him, especially his Uncle Jon and Aunt Christy. They even bought him a BEARS outfit to wear, so I dressed him in it for our trip;)

I can't say naps have been much improved since I last wrote, but he can usually get in at least one good nap during the day. I think he was so wiped out when we got home on Sunday morning, he was just happy to sleep in a familiar place. So he ended up sleeping for 1hr 40 minutes! That was exciting for me. I took a nap too! :)

He's been sleeping now for about 30 minutes and I hear him shuffling a bit, so he'll either go back to sleep (miracle I'm praying for) or he'll be crying in a few minutes. Before I go, I want to include some pictures from our trip.

And one more thing - Ethan had a Dr. appt Friday and had to get his first shots! ow! I didn't like seeing him cry, but he got through it just fine. We had a kind of rough afternoon/evening, but I gave him infant tylenol and that seemed to help. And he now weighs 12lbs 12oz and is 23 1/2 inches long! He just keeps growing so fast! I can hardly believe he's 2 months already. (and a part of me also says, "has it really only been 2 months?" haha.

And he's crying... shoulda known:)