So Ethan has had some major gas issues the last couple of days... I'm seriously trying to think about what I'm eating, but it just seems impossible sometimes. I feel so terrible when he's hurting and just want it to go away. But other than that, everything is still going so well. I was just telling my mom yesterday that I have to pinch myself sometimes because it just doesn't seem real still. I think it's still hard for me to accept that I'm a mother, but not married. You know how you always have this dream for yourself or imagine how your life will turn out. Well, I never would have imagined it this way. That doesn't make being a mother now any less enjoyable. It's just still hard for me to grasp since the current pictures doesn't quite match up with the one I had envisioned.
I feel now as though my life has a purpose. I know God always had a purpose for me and I'd like to think that I was living that way before. But now I know exactly why I'm here. My life is to serve this little guy and care for him and his needs. I finally feel as though I'm living. It's hard to explain. But it's amazing and I love living now, more than ever.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Busy day
So yesterday was a busy day for mommy and Ethan...
I had a couple of errands to run and he came along for the ride. When we got back, he met Alissa for the first time - she wasn't ready to hold him, but enjoyed seeing him in person finally. We ended up going to the pool in the afternoon and he took a nap in my arms while we were there. And we went for a little walk, but he wasn't too thrilled about that, so it was short. He had some fussy time with some good wear you out crying, so he took a little nap after that. But then we went to a picnic in Chesterton, so another car ride and more fresh air (with a few raindrops included). Followed by a good 2 hour nap;)
After all his napping during the day, I wondered how he'd do last night. Well, much to my surprise (and delight) he slept very well all night and fed at 10pm, 1am, 4am, and again at 7am - with good sleep in between for mommy and Ethan.
I'm feeling good today and ready to have another fun-filled day with my little boy. He's the love of my life and the most fun I've ever had!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
3 weeks old today!
So today officially marks Ethan's 3rd week of life;)
He's doing very well here at home and seems to be changing before my eyes. I can already tell that he's grown by looking at his face and seeing the little chub that's begun on his arms and legs. I captured a mile marker on video today - I laid Ethan on his tummy and he was getting so frustrated, he pushed himself over onto his back! He's a strong little guy! And I'm so happy I caught it on video.
We had a lot of fun today and it's starting to show on Ethan's face - he was pretty fussy during dinner. But now grandma is holding him and he's saying "I'm just tired, let me rest a while". Ethan was up most of the morning with me... tried putting him down for a nap a couple of times, but he either had gas or just wasn't thrilled I had put him in the bassinet or was hungry by the time I got him to fall asleep:) So not much for naps this morning. We went to the pool this afternoon with his cousins and he fell asleep in my arms. Then we went for a walk around the block with his cousins again and he just enjoyed the stroll. And now he sleeps... until his next meal, at least. Overall, it's been a good day. I think we're getting some kind of a schedule down. It varies from day to day, but he's adjusting quite well (and so is mommy - getting rest when I can;)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sleeping
So I had to report that last night, Ethan slept very well. He still got up every 2-3 hours to eat, but went right back to sleep after I fed him and burped him. I think that was the first time he didn't have a fussy/awake time during the night and I enjoyed it! And to top it all off, just this morning he gave me a wonderful smile and it made my day;)
And right now he looks like he'd like to be going somewhere - not such a fan of just sitting in one spot. So mommy's gonna take him for a little walk
And right now he looks like he'd like to be going somewhere - not such a fan of just sitting in one spot. So mommy's gonna take him for a little walk
Saturday, June 14, 2008
We had a good day
Nothing real eventful happened today, but sometimes no news is good news.
I've been trying a new hold to feed Ethan because of his bad gas and so far it seems to be helping. The last couple of days he was much more fussy than he ever had been and I know it was because of bad gas. OH, such fun for little babies:)
Today has been a beautiful day! Ethan's daddy came over to see him and allowed mommy some hands free time. We went for a walk around the block - I'm getting more and more comfortable with moving around in general, so praise God for a quick recovery! Though I have to say how depressing it is that I still appear to be a few months pregnant. I guess you never know how long it takes to get back to "normal", though I continue to hear I never really will be back to normal.
Ethan continues to amaze us with his strength and he really likes to look around right now. He's definitely trying to focus on things, but it's still hard for him. He can push himself away with his arms and his legs.
Everyday is a new day and he's always looking like he's growing and learning - loving every minute of it!
I've been trying a new hold to feed Ethan because of his bad gas and so far it seems to be helping. The last couple of days he was much more fussy than he ever had been and I know it was because of bad gas. OH, such fun for little babies:)
Today has been a beautiful day! Ethan's daddy came over to see him and allowed mommy some hands free time. We went for a walk around the block - I'm getting more and more comfortable with moving around in general, so praise God for a quick recovery! Though I have to say how depressing it is that I still appear to be a few months pregnant. I guess you never know how long it takes to get back to "normal", though I continue to hear I never really will be back to normal.
Ethan continues to amaze us with his strength and he really likes to look around right now. He's definitely trying to focus on things, but it's still hard for him. He can push himself away with his arms and his legs.
Everyday is a new day and he's always looking like he's growing and learning - loving every minute of it!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Quick update
Let's see if I can summarize the past 2 weeks. He was born on a Thursday, so we spent that Friday, Saturday and part of Sunday in the hospital. It takes a little longer to recover after a c-section. But I was very READY to leave when the time came. It felt like I had left prison! Not to say that the hospital wasn't nice or that the staff wasn't helpful - I just wanted to be comfortable and hospitals just aren't comfortable.
The ride home was difficult - my parents came to pick up Ethan and me and we had to drive from Libertyville, IL to Valparaiso, IN. That's usually about a 2 hr trip and I think we made it in about that much time. But there's road construction everywhere and it seemed we hit every BUMP possible, which caused me to wince everytime. I was very thankful when we finally arrived home.
And since that day, which was Sunday, June 1st, Ethan and I have been learning and growing together. I'm learning his ways of communication and getting somewhat of a schedule figured out... how often he eats, sleeps, poops, etc. He is rarely fussy and usually just enjoys looking at his surroundings when he's not sleeping or eating. Though the last couple of days we've hit some rough patches due to bad gas. I'm trying to cut peanut butter out of my diet to see if that helps. So much of this motherhood thing is a guessing game- you try different approaches until something works.
Lets see... last Thursday, June 5th, we took him to his first visit to the pediatrition. She said he looked great and was quite impressed by how calm he was during the examination (with the exception of when he was weighed - that scared him a bit). He weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz, which is great because often times babies loose weight during the first week. He's a good eater.
He's had his first bath, his first visit to the park, his first outing with mommy so she could go shopping, we think his first smile, and he's even pushed himself over when we put him on his stomach! So this little guy is ahead of the game - very strong!
His Grandma Kim came to see him last weekend - all the way from North Dakota. She had some difficulties with the traveling, but finally made it in and enjoyed every minute she could spend with her first and only grandson (blood-related)
And now we look forward to the many other visitors that will come to say hello! My cousin Karna and her family are in town for the week - they've all seen Ethan already:) My sister, Jessie flies in from Seattle June 25th and will spend a long weekend with us. Then my brother Jon and his wife, Christy will be here at the end of July for their wedding reception up in Michigan. And Jessie will be back at the end of August with her husband, David. So Ethan is excited to meet his other aunts and uncles that he'll grow to know and love so dearly.
I'm sure there will be more to come - I've been taking pictures and videotaping him pretty much on a daily basis. There's just so much I don't want to miss. And he's so adorable, I want to capture every little face he makes. So mommy and Ethan are doing well - until next blog...
May 29, 2008 Ethan arrives @ 8:43pm!
So here's the story of Ethan's birth...
This is of course, my first time being a mother and my first time going into labor. But all I knew of labor is that my mom's all went pretty quickly and she usually had each of us kids within a couple hours after showing up at the hospital...
This isn't that kind of story.
I was due on May 27th, but expected I might be a bit late (seems that's typical with your first). I went to Bible study with a friend that night and started not only noticing my contractions in a different way, but also began timing them and they seemed to stay pretty regular. After about an hour, we noticed that they were usually between 6 and 10 minutes apart, but staying closer to every 6 minutes. I was with my friend Kristen Redman and we decided better to be safe than sorry, so we showed up at the hospital to check on my status.
After getting checked out and walking around the hosptial for an hour, they checked me again and I was still about 1-2cm dialated. So the nurse said I might be more comfortable at home since I was still in what's called "early labor". So I went back to Kristen's and tried to sleep it off. All through the night and the following day, I continued keeping track of my contractions and now they seemed to be between 4 and 6 minutes apart. I really didn't know what I was supposed to feel, so I just figured it would have to get a little worse before I headed to the hospital again.
Meanwhile, my sister and Trampes heard that my contractions were staying regular and they were going to come up to Illinois just in case. Bethany got there around 3:00pm and Trampes got there a little later. We were still keeping track of my contractions and they seemed to stay nice and close. My mom was so worried I was going to have the baby SOON and it started making me nervous, so we headed back to the hospital again. And once again, I was still at about 1-2cm and the nurse said I could stay or try to sleep at home. So once again I headed back to Kristen's and we waited it out.
That night, around 4am I noticed the contractions began to FEEL different. Now there was definitely a cramping, painful sensation when the contractions came and I thought, "o.k., this has got to mean I'm getting closer" So I woke my sister and said I thought the time was getting nearer. We still kept track of how far apart my contractions were and they stayed regular. I took a shower that morning and we ate some breakfast. Then we headed to the hospital around 7:15am. This time, the nurse said my cervix was definitely thinning, though it wasn't dialated much further. But they finally said I could stay and see how things progressed while I was being monitored. And so it began...
Bethany and Trampes walked with me around the hospital, we watched a couple movies, listened to music, and most importantly, I was breathing through my contractions, which were now between 3 and 5 minutes apart. Bethany and Trampes both did such a good job of coaching me and helping me to focus on BREATHING through the contractions. I was definitely getting more used to it, but it still was no fun at all! The Dr. had checked on me earlier in the day and said he may come back to break my water if that hadn't happened about about 12pm. So it was at about 1pm that he came back to break the water. After that, contractions were similar, but sometimes more intense.
And so came the hour of 4:30pm. Dr. Slaw said I was dialated about 5-6cm, but the process was taking much longer than I had anticipated. By that time, I had been trying to breath through my contractions for about 12 hours and I was tired! So I had a little emotional breakdown and said I wanted the epidural. It wasn't until about 6:30 that I finally received the epidural, but MAN, was that relieving! I couldn't believe how much easier it was after that.
About an hour later, the nurse was checking on things, and in came the doctor and about 4 or 5 other nurses. I was getting my blood pressure checked, temp, oxygen mask put on my face, and the doctor was checking the baby's heartbeat. He explained that when I was having contractions, the baby's heartbeat was actually slowing down and he really didn't like the looks of things. So he let me know he though it was 90% likely I'd be getting a c-section, but it was totally up to me if I wanted to just do it then. I cried and freaked out a little, but knew if that was what was best for the baby, we should just go ahead and do it.
So at about 8pm, they moved me to another room to begin surgery. I was laying down and there were straps holding down my arms on either side of me and straps holding down my legs. It wasn't long before they put up the blue sheet to cover my face from what was happening and Trampes came in to sit next to me while they cut me open. It was the weirdest sensation. I felt so numb, yet was aware of every tug and push and pull that they did. Then one big push on the top part of my uterus, and out came A BOY!! I was so excited and started cryinc as soon as I heard his precious first cries. We knew then that we had little Ethan Ryder Hazen-Brown.
He was 8lbs even and 20 inches long. And the nurses kept saying how beautiful he was - I just wanted to see my little boy! That was so hard feeling stuck there. After he was checked over and cleaned up, I got to give him one kiss and they took him to the nursery while I continued to be sewn back up. Once that was done, they put me in the recovery room where I slowly began to get feeling back in my arms and legs and could barely keep my eyes open. It was about an hour and a half later they brought me to my room and shortly after, the nurses brought Ethan in to see if we could breastfeed. And then, finally, I got to hold my little boy. And he was (and is) the most precious and perfect little thing I've ever seen.
This is of course, my first time being a mother and my first time going into labor. But all I knew of labor is that my mom's all went pretty quickly and she usually had each of us kids within a couple hours after showing up at the hospital...
This isn't that kind of story.
I was due on May 27th, but expected I might be a bit late (seems that's typical with your first). I went to Bible study with a friend that night and started not only noticing my contractions in a different way, but also began timing them and they seemed to stay pretty regular. After about an hour, we noticed that they were usually between 6 and 10 minutes apart, but staying closer to every 6 minutes. I was with my friend Kristen Redman and we decided better to be safe than sorry, so we showed up at the hospital to check on my status.
After getting checked out and walking around the hosptial for an hour, they checked me again and I was still about 1-2cm dialated. So the nurse said I might be more comfortable at home since I was still in what's called "early labor". So I went back to Kristen's and tried to sleep it off. All through the night and the following day, I continued keeping track of my contractions and now they seemed to be between 4 and 6 minutes apart. I really didn't know what I was supposed to feel, so I just figured it would have to get a little worse before I headed to the hospital again.
Meanwhile, my sister and Trampes heard that my contractions were staying regular and they were going to come up to Illinois just in case. Bethany got there around 3:00pm and Trampes got there a little later. We were still keeping track of my contractions and they seemed to stay nice and close. My mom was so worried I was going to have the baby SOON and it started making me nervous, so we headed back to the hospital again. And once again, I was still at about 1-2cm and the nurse said I could stay or try to sleep at home. So once again I headed back to Kristen's and we waited it out.
That night, around 4am I noticed the contractions began to FEEL different. Now there was definitely a cramping, painful sensation when the contractions came and I thought, "o.k., this has got to mean I'm getting closer" So I woke my sister and said I thought the time was getting nearer. We still kept track of how far apart my contractions were and they stayed regular. I took a shower that morning and we ate some breakfast. Then we headed to the hospital around 7:15am. This time, the nurse said my cervix was definitely thinning, though it wasn't dialated much further. But they finally said I could stay and see how things progressed while I was being monitored. And so it began...
Bethany and Trampes walked with me around the hospital, we watched a couple movies, listened to music, and most importantly, I was breathing through my contractions, which were now between 3 and 5 minutes apart. Bethany and Trampes both did such a good job of coaching me and helping me to focus on BREATHING through the contractions. I was definitely getting more used to it, but it still was no fun at all! The Dr. had checked on me earlier in the day and said he may come back to break my water if that hadn't happened about about 12pm. So it was at about 1pm that he came back to break the water. After that, contractions were similar, but sometimes more intense.
And so came the hour of 4:30pm. Dr. Slaw said I was dialated about 5-6cm, but the process was taking much longer than I had anticipated. By that time, I had been trying to breath through my contractions for about 12 hours and I was tired! So I had a little emotional breakdown and said I wanted the epidural. It wasn't until about 6:30 that I finally received the epidural, but MAN, was that relieving! I couldn't believe how much easier it was after that.
About an hour later, the nurse was checking on things, and in came the doctor and about 4 or 5 other nurses. I was getting my blood pressure checked, temp, oxygen mask put on my face, and the doctor was checking the baby's heartbeat. He explained that when I was having contractions, the baby's heartbeat was actually slowing down and he really didn't like the looks of things. So he let me know he though it was 90% likely I'd be getting a c-section, but it was totally up to me if I wanted to just do it then. I cried and freaked out a little, but knew if that was what was best for the baby, we should just go ahead and do it.
So at about 8pm, they moved me to another room to begin surgery. I was laying down and there were straps holding down my arms on either side of me and straps holding down my legs. It wasn't long before they put up the blue sheet to cover my face from what was happening and Trampes came in to sit next to me while they cut me open. It was the weirdest sensation. I felt so numb, yet was aware of every tug and push and pull that they did. Then one big push on the top part of my uterus, and out came A BOY!! I was so excited and started cryinc as soon as I heard his precious first cries. We knew then that we had little Ethan Ryder Hazen-Brown.
He was 8lbs even and 20 inches long. And the nurses kept saying how beautiful he was - I just wanted to see my little boy! That was so hard feeling stuck there. After he was checked over and cleaned up, I got to give him one kiss and they took him to the nursery while I continued to be sewn back up. Once that was done, they put me in the recovery room where I slowly began to get feeling back in my arms and legs and could barely keep my eyes open. It was about an hour and a half later they brought me to my room and shortly after, the nurses brought Ethan in to see if we could breastfeed. And then, finally, I got to hold my little boy. And he was (and is) the most precious and perfect little thing I've ever seen.
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