In memory of my angel, Ethan Ryder

I'm embarrassed at how much time I allowed to pass before getting on this blog to talk about how wonderful and amazing and special my little boy was. I just looked back at some of the last things I recorded about his life and the ways in which he was learning and growing. I hope to use this site now to talk about him still... to remember him in the precious moments, To shine a light on the darkness that surrounds his death. Yet, even in the darkness, I can still see the light that God shined down on Ethan even in his darkest hour. We prayed for protection for him EVERY TIME he left us and asked God to watch over him and send his angels to protect him. This was not the answer we were looking for, but perhaps God answered in a way we'll never understand. I know we'll be haunted for years to come when we think of how tragically we lost him - it's so hard not to imagine and want to scream in pain for him. But then I remember of the story of Stephen from the Bible. Even as he was being stoned, he cried out to God and was protected from the pain. I think a light always surrounded Ethan wherever he went and when he was hurt, he sensed that light. The last words I said to him before we dropped him off for the last time (as he was crying because he didn't want to go), was that God loved him MOST of all and that we prayed for him every time he left and that the angels would watch over him. He knew that, even at the tender age of three. He knew how much Jesus loved him. I hope to continue to pour out my heart as I have memories of Ethan or when I miss him dearly, as I do now. I hope that it will encourage readers to love on their children like there may be no tomorrow and cherish every moment that you have with the people you love. Tomorrow could truly be your last. Heaven is sweeter now that my little Ethan is there. I love you, Ethan. I'll always love you and I will miss you for the rest of my life here on earth.

Definitely time for an update!

I've been terrible at keeping up with this blog lately, but I need to at least get some current pictures up. So the last I wrote, I was filling you in on Christmas and New Years. Things continue to go well for Jesse and I. We just had our first pre-marital counseling session and we look forward to coninuing to grow as a couple and grow in the Lord together.

In other news, Ethan's going to be 2 in just a couple months!! I can hardly believe it! He seems to be growing so fast. He's still not big into talking, but he sure likes to babble. Most words start with "ba" or sound like "ba", but he definitely knows what's going on around him. And he's very understanding of the questions that I ask. It may take him some time to get a few more words in, but he's a smart boy.

The weather has actually been very nice here for the past few days and we've had a chance to get outside, which he loves! I think that kid could live out there if he was allowed to. ;) We took out every ball we own - as well as tennis rackets and badmitten rackets. He's been enjoying throwing the balls into the street so that I have to continually retreive them for him. What a little stinker.

He's been getting better at running (maybe more like fast walking), but he's definitely moving well. He still has an excellent arm - excited to see what kind of sports he gets into as he gets older. And as usual, I have nothing but the best to report. He may be approaching those "terrible 2's" and can be a bit whiny at times, but I've been blessed with an amazing little boy. He's truly a joy to be around - full of smiles and love and laughter. I'm thankful for my little Ethan Ryder.

That's what's "new" here... I'll try to keep up a little better.

Christmas 2009

I've been terrible at keeping up with this blog... maybe I should rename it Kristin and Ethan's blog :)
I have a lot of news about *myself* lately... been dating a guy named Jesse since just after Thanksgiving and things are getting serious FAST. But it's been amazing from the beginning. I'm including this in the latest with Ethan and I because it's very possible this man could be a part of both of our lives for a very long time. I am happier now than I've ever been. Seriously.

Ethan's been doing wonderfully. He gets bigger and smarter everyday it seems. He's about to go pro as a baseball pitcher I think ;) The boy can seriously throw a ball! We're still waiting on more words to form, but I can tell that he's trying. And sometimes it seems like he's saying certain words - ball, dog, juice (choo), grandma and grandpa (a'ma and a'pa) But most of the words are still a little hard too understand. I can tell he understands most of what I'm saying and listens to what I ask him to do/not do. So I'm feeling very blessed to have such an amazing little boy. God is so good to me.

And now that he's given me Jesse, things just seem to be coming together perfectly. I'd be very suprised if I'm not married in the next year. We were just talking engagement and marriage last night. What's amazing about our relationship so far is that we've been completely on the same page from the get-go. I can hardly believe we've only been seeing each other for a couple months. But I know this for sure - God placed the two of us in each other's lives at just the right time... God's timing truly is perfect. I can't regret a single part of my story so far - it's all exactly as God planned. He is truly good - He loves and forgives and extends grace and makes beauty from ashes... our God is an awesome God.

I'll include a few pics from Christmas... Jessie was here, but unfortunately David couldn't make it. And Jon is overseas right now, so we missed both him and Christy. We still had a wonderful time together, but its never quite the same when we're missing anyone from the family. I'll also include a picture of Jesse and I from New Years - he took me out for an amazing night on the town (in Chicago)... dinner, horse and carriage ride, and a show! What a night! Best New Years ever! I think that mostly brings things up to speed. Amazing the changes that can happen over a matter of a few months...

Halloween

I've been pretty terrible at keeping up with this blog...
all is well in the Hazen household. Ethan's getting around like a pro, climbing on everything, doing typical little boy things like hitting and loving anything to do with sports. He's my little ham and I couldn't be prouder of him. Like I've said before, I'd love to get some videos on here, but it just hasn't worked lately. So I'll continue to keep up with favorite pics and if you're my friend on facebook, you can see the rest. I just got 2 new videos up on facebook, so that will give you an idea of how well Ethan's getting around and a bit of the babbling he's doing lately. But here's some pics from Halloween with his cousins Jacob and Gabe.
We're still working on the candy from our trick-or-treating.

Things to remember

I've been thinking of the little things Ethan does that I don't want to forget, so here are some of those things:
- loves to play with spatulas, spoons, pots and pans, etc (but spatulas are the favs)
- makes the little car vroom vroom noises and points them in the right direction before he rolls them across the floor
- "baba" is basketball and so far that seems to be his favorite
- likes playing with the remote (must be a boy) haha
- points at EVERYTHING! and usually says "da!" (that) I think
- loves pointing at his belly button and poking mine when he gets the chance
- drinks juice and milk like its water - chug chug chug!
- walking fast/running very well
- always wants to see what we're making in the kitchen - "pick me up!! let me see!"
(though he doesn't quite SAY that yet)
- loves his blankie - takes it with him wherever we go
- could spend all day outside if he could
- dirt seems to be in the mouth as much as in his hands/on his feet
- gives the best hugs
- and just about the most amazingly cute, smart, loving little boy in the world!! (that may be a bit biased)

Just a few more favs

Since I can't upload videos lately (computer's too slow or something), I'm adding some more favorite pictures... enjoy!
first ride on an airplane! so exciting!!


Ethan met a new friend while in Seattle

yeah, thumbs up

must be another airplane flying overhead

love this little smirk

already going after the girls... look out! gonna be a heartbreaker

pointing at something, as usual

Was that summer!??

So I've been terrible about keeping up Ethan's blog... I apoligize to anyone who wishes to see more adorable pictures/videos of the little man. I suppose I assume most people are on facebook and see way too many pictures of him on there. But I guess not EVERYONE is on facebook. (you really should think about it if you aren't) Anyway, what's new here? Well, as I titled this blog, this has been the weirdest summer weather. It hasn't felt much like summer for most of June, July, and especially August. This last week has been mostly cloudy and rainy and mid-60's. yuck. So we've been trying to keep ourselves busy inside and taking fun trips to the library and going to see cousins Jacob and Gabe! woohoo! Our last few weeks have been full of fun and excitement. I think Ethan's just about had all he can take;) First, he experienced his very first plane ride! wow - that's not something I want to do again soon by myself. But we got through it and we had help from Grandma and Grandpa Hazen on the way home. We went to Seattle from Aug. 5-11. Had an amazing time with my sister Jessie, her husband David and my brother Jon and his wife Christy. The WHOLE family was together for a couple days during the weekend, so that was wonderful. I'll have to add a couple pictures from our good times together. When we got home, the Driscoll family was here visiting my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bud. So Ethan and Jacob enjoyed playing with Karna and Micah's 4 kids for the day. After they headed home, I found out my good friend Rachel was going to be in town for a bit with her 2 girls Ashlyn and Sydnie. So again Ethan had some fun, but long days with her little girls. And Rachel, Alissa, and I had a great time being together and catching up. Ethan got a cold from her girls, so he's been a little under the weather the last few days, but he's handling it like a trooper. And Rachel will be here for a few more days next week when they return from Maine, so we're looking forward to spending a little more time with them before they return to Nicarauga. So despite the yucky weather, we've been enjoying the time spent with the people we love! Ethan's cousin Jacob just started kindergarden a couple weeks ago and he seems to be liking it so far. It's been a little weird not being able to just have him over whenever, but he only has a half day, so we still see him a good amount. Ethan absolutely adores his cousin Jacob! It will be fun to see how he and Gabe become friends as Gabe gets older because they're much closer in age. So as time goes on, I'm sure the three of them will be good buddies. I'm going to get at least a few pictures on here and REALLY hope to get at least one video on to show what a big boy Ethan's become. Been trying for about an hour and a half, but the video still hasn't uploaded! I may have to try again soon...

July's half over!!

I can't believe how quickly this summer is flying by, but that's to be expected when we're having so much fun. Ethan's 13 1/2 months now and getting into trouble faster than I can spell trouble. :) He's definitely keeping me on my toes. So what has he been up to lately?? ~loves pointing up in the sky when he hears a plane ~tries walking down stairs by himself (and I mean walking - holds onto the rails) ~could play outside and get into DIRT all day ~plays with cars and makes vroom vroom noises (mostly spits everywhere) ~walking faster everyday - will be running soon ~likes kicking and splashing in the pool ~wants to push the lawn mower when grandpa mows the lawn ~loves all different kinds of balls - basketballs, baseballs, footballs, soccer, etc and can throw them pretty well too ~and generally just getting into EVERYTHING!! opening doors, cabinets, drawers and trying to climb on everything too I'll add some pictures and a couple videos (or just one if it takes too long) to give you an idea of what he's been up to

Video/pics from Ethan's 1st birthday

First Birthday!!! (May 29)

I'm pretty sure I'll forget to get on here tomorrow with all the excitement and celebrating going on tomorrow;) So I wanted to say HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY to my little man, Ethan Ryder Hazen-Brown!!! It's been quite a year and I find it so hard to believe an entire year has passed already. Ethan's grown and changed in so many ways - what an amazing thing to witness day to day.

He's walking now! I knew he'd start before he turned 1. He's been so close for the past month or so. And I'd say for the past 4 days he's become much more confident and is walking more than he crawls now. My little baby is becoming a toddler!! :0

He's babbling all the time now and it sounds like he's made up his own language. Though "da" and "do" are still his favorite sounds. I'll put up a couple more videos next time I'm on along with some pics from his first birthday. Glad so many of you have been able to keep up with us this way. I'll do my best to keep you as up-to-date as possible.

New videos

Finally getting some recent videos uploaded... it just takes so long!! hope you all enjoy:) And the latest is that Ethan and I both have colds, so we're both blowing the noses and coughing on an occassion. Other than that, Ethan is loving being outside and getting into dirt and rocks whenever we have the chance. He has a splinter in his finger from our adventures at Valplayso (the playground near our house). And I'll be very surprised if he's not walking by the time he's 1 year or sooner. Only time will tell...

Quick update

I can hardly believe we're half way through April already! Time is just flying past me these days. Ethan is getting more daring with standing and trying to walk. He's taken just a few steps on his own now, but not quite ready to walk on his own. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it in the next month or so.

Also, went to the doctor and they say he's a little underweight. I really don't think he's unhealthy at all, but the doctor wants to do an exam on him again. Shouldn't be anything, but I suppose it's a concern.

He's doing just as well as he can be. Always smiling and an adventurous little boy. Has taken a few tumbles in the last month, but that happens. Also, had a great trip to Illinois - so fun to see the kids interact. Don't have time now, but I'll add some pics from that soon.

Weekend Fun!

Ethan and I are spending the weekend with my friends Katie and Laura and their kids Lydia and Luke. So I'll have to add some pictures once we get home. Ethan got his 8th tooth! So he's been drooling like crazy and had a bit of a fever and a runny nose. That's made sleeping a little harder, so hopefully he'll get back to "normal" soon and we can both get better rest.

But other than that, all is well. He's getting more and more vocal. I'm expecting him to say a word soon (and actually understand what he's saying). It just sounds like he's already trying to communicate with us. His favorite sounds are "dada" and "baba" and "juju" or "jojo" and sometimes he says "mama" but not as often. I was hoping that would be his first word, but it's not looking that way.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how he interacts with Lydia and Luke, so this should be a fun weekend. Luckily Lyida and Ethan are BOTH sleeping right now, so Katie and have a little down time before they wake again. Yay for time with friends!!

9 month pictures

I was able to download some of Ethan's pics from JC Penny, so I'm going to see if I can upload them here...

Spring is almost here

Here's a couple shots of Ethan enjoying the outdoors... can't wait to get him in the pool this summer. We were just at my friend's wedding on Saturday in Wisconson and he did GREAT in the car! Took a nap on the way and slept the whole way home (didn't leave till about 9pm - he was TIRED).


And he had his 9 mo check up a week ago. Everything is fine, but I guess he's a little under weight. So I'm doing my best to fill him up everytime he eats. The Dr. doesn't think it's anything to be concerned about. He's a healthy boy and looks just fine for his size. But we're bringing him back in next month to be sure he's gaining enough weight. He's 28 1/2 inches and a little over 18 lbs.

What's new? He's figured out how to wave bye-bye. He stands by himself for short periods of time (5-10 seconds). He loves walking with help from the "walker" with wheels - gets up on it by himself now. And he's becoming more and more vocal. Loves rocking to music and "sing-song" babbling. He's still the love of my life and such a joy - puts many smiles on my face from day to day.

March already!?

So I tried uploading a video the other day and it didn't work very well... so I'm trying yet again. I've been having a lot of fun watching Ethan explore and learn how to get from here to there in many interesting ways. But mostly just hoping I can keep my eyes on him long enough to be sure he's not getting into the many things that he shouldn't :) He's 9 months now!! wow! So hard to believe how quickly it really does go by. so here are some recent videos - enjoy!

They grow up so fast:)

Just wanted to put a few more recent pictures up... he's crawling like a pro and gets up on everything now. He thinks he can use ANYTHING to get up to standing. Have to be very careful now.

Big news!

Ethan has another nephew!! Bethany had another little boy, Gabriel Joseph Drew, born Jan. 24 at 11:21pm. I was there to see him born! It was amazing!! So Bethany's getting used to being a "new mommy" again and we're excited to see how Gabriel and Ethan will get along as they both get older.

Ethan started crawling a little over a week ago! So now he's unstoppable! I feel like a disaster could happen if I turn away for just a few seconds, so I have to watch him like a hawk now. He also has had a cold for about a week now, so we're hoping he'll start being able to breath through is nose again which will also help him sleep and eat better too.

As I'm writing right now, he's crawling in the old barbie house my dad made when we were kids. Seems to be having fun - ah, but now he's getting something in his mouth that doesn't belong there...

So I need to get going.

More Videos!!

Christmas pictures!

Here are some fun pictures from Christmas day